did i really lose?

It started with the famous "you stare at me then il catch u staring at me while im staring at you syndrome". I did not mind it at first thinking that it was a mere coincidence plus he's not my type anyway. He's just this typical guy that I wouldn't notice. When i saw him looking at my direction the first time, it kinda felt uneasy and i loose my concentration because that time i was enjoying his stares. But the catch is, I can't posibly be "me" if someone is doing that. In short, i got uber concious of how i look like and etc. But that was supposed to be the end of it. But God put him in my way again. Yes, I'l probably say it was a coincidence again when i had a chance to be with him for this thing that we had to do and had no choice (well if i had a choice that time I wouldn't be changing it coz I'll consider it a blessing). It was okay and that time, it was not a big deal. i had a chance to talk to him and he was cooler than i thought. you see, I like guys who knows how to play with music which is really my thing (though i don't sing that good). and again the staring game began. God had put us again in a place where i can be with him again. Then whenever I will accidently got closer to him than normal like to the extent that our shoulder's are accidentally rubbed with each other, i had these electricity inside me. It was like my heart was floating once again. But my convictions are telling me that this isn't right. My mind has told me to stop this nonsense but I am still asking for more. My heart was shouting and asking him again everytime of the day. I guess i was being played by my emotions again, he was always around where I happened to be around. i am being a kid again!! ;p